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WHAT ARE THE IMPORTANT EVENTS IN MY FAMILY? In this work, we examine the tragic events affecting us and our children. Looking back three generations, we ask: Who died early? Who left? Who was abandoned, isolated or excluded from the family? Who was adopted or who gave a child up for adoption? Who died in childbirth? Who had a stillborn birth or an abortion? Who was murdered or murdered someone? Who committed suicide? Who suffered in war? Who profited from another's loss? Who was wrongly accused? Who was jailed or institutionalized? Who had a physical, emotional or mental disability? Who had a significant relationship prior to getting married? Who died in or participated in the holocaust? And so on. Most importantly, we see how family members whose fates were too difficult to bear have deeply impacted our families. We see how our parents may have carried a heavy burden from the previous generation. We ask: Are we carrying this same burden? HOW MIGHT YOU TREAT A CHILD WITH
AN ANXIETY DISORDER?
Let's say a father loses his father when he is twelve in a tragic accident. Years later, when his own son reaches twelve or thereabouts, this father begins to distance himself from his family. Perhaps he has an affair or separates from his wife. Whatever the case, he repeats the absence of his father. In an attempt to soothe the sad feelings of his mother, his son begins to carry his mother’s anger toward the father. This creates a conflict in the boy, as both parents are needed for the boy to feel whole and develop in his masculinity. This boy now begins to develop an anxiety disorder. Perhaps he has panic attacks or develops an eating disorder, or he becomes oppositional or defiant, or he begins failing at school. To have an effective resolution, we must treat the entire system and not focus solely on the child as the problem. Even if contact with the father is not possible, a solution is attainable when the larger system is brought into focus. Solutions rarely rest in the hands of our children alone. In a session, there are specific interventions we can accomplish with the boy alone, with the mother alone, or with the boy and his mother. Often a single intervention that enables the child to feel that he doesn’t have to choose between his parents is all that is necessary for the child to reduce his anxiety and reestablish his composure.
IS THIS A SHORT-TERM THERAPY? A Family Constellation can be a one-time, therapeutic intervention that does not necessarily require ongoing therapy. DO YOU OFFER INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS? Yes, we offer individual sessions and brief therapies designed to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, a single session is enough to generate a major breakthrough. You can contact us at: (412) 422-1955 or email. The Hellinger Institute of Western Pennsylvania copyright 2004-2008, Mark Wolynn, all rights reserved |
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