Hellinger Family Constellation Work

In this work, we examine the tragic events affecting us and our children. Looking back three generations, we ask: Who died early? Who left? Who was abandoned, isolated or excluded from the family? Who was adopted or who gave a child up for adoption? Who died in childbirth? Who had a stillborn birth or an abortion? Who was murdered or murdered someone? Who committed suicide? Who suffered in war? Who profited from another's loss? Who was wrongly accused? Who was jailed or institutionalized? Who had a physical, emotional or mental disability? Who had a significant relationship prior to getting married? Who died in or participated in the holocaust? And so on. Most importantly, we see how family members whose fates were too difficult to bear have deeply impacted our families. We see how our parents may have carried a heavy burden from the previous generation. We ask: Are we carrying this same burden?

Much of our suffering comes from a deep, and often blind, love for our parents and families. In an innocent way, we imagine that we can somehow alleviate the family unhappiness by sharing it. But this fantasized thinking only leads to more unhappiness. Sometimes, we reject or distance ourselves from our parents in an attempt to feel free. Yet that only causes more suffering. The path toward true peace is to make peace with our parents, even if they are deceased. This work makes that possible.

When someone has been excluded from the family a failure, an alcoholic, a child's father our children often try to bring what's excluded to awareness by continuing the suffering, and behaving just like them. But when we respect these family members exactly as they are, recognizing and honoring their fate exactly as it is, this has a positive effect on us, and indirectly upon our children, who may now feel more free from having to carry our heaviness for us.

Let's say a father loses his father when he is twelve in a tragic accident. Years later, when his own son reaches twelve or thereabouts, this father begins to distance himself from his family. Perhaps he has an affair or separates from his wife. Whatever the case, he repeats the absence of his father. In an attempt to soothe the sad feelings of his mother, his son begins to carry his mother’s anger toward the father. This creates a conflict in the boy, as both parents are needed for the boy to feel whole and develop in his masculinity. This boy now begins to develop an anxiety disorder. Perhaps he has panic attacks or develops an eating disorder, or he becomes oppositional or defiant, or he begins failing at school. To have an effective resolution, we must treat the entire system and not focus solely on the child as the problem. Even if contact with the father is not possible, a solution is attainable when the larger system is brought into focus. Solutions rarely rest in the hands of our children alone. In a session, there are specific interventions we can accomplish with the boy alone, with the mother alone, or with the boy and his mother. Often a single intervention that enables the child to feel that he doesn’t have to choose between his parents is all that is necessary for the child to reduce his anxiety and reestablish his composure.

IS THIS A SHORT-TERM THERAPY?

A Family Constellation can be a one-time, therapeutic intervention that does not necessarily require ongoing therapy.

Yes, we offer individual sessions and brief therapies designed to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, a single session is enough to generate a major breakthrough. You can contact us at: (412) 422-1955 or email.

Anyone who suffers from depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive thoughts, fears, phobias, guilt, bi-polar disorder, persistent anger, lingering grief, meaninglessness, illnesses, psychosomatic diseases, reproductive health issues, failed relationships, family violence, addictions, OCD, ADHD, ADD, PTSD, etc.